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dropbox? smd [31 May 2013|01:27pm]
Driving directions to 4101 W Allen Rd, Howell, MI 48855
This route has tolls.
 Vancouver, WA
01. I-205 S
  Entering Oregon

---- 4.1 mi

06. Take exit 22 for Interstate 84 E/U.S. 30 E toward The Dalles

---- 0.8 mi

07. Merge onto I-84 E/U.S. 30 E
 Continue to follow I-84 E

---- 169 mi

08. Take exit 179 for Interstate 82 W toward Hermiston/Umatilla

---- 0.8 mi

09. Merge onto I-82 W
  Entering Washington

---- 29.9 mi

10. Take exit 113 to merge onto US-395 N toward I-182 N/Kennewick/Pasco

---- 7.4 mi

11. Keep right at the fork, follow signs for I-182/US-12/US-395/Spokane/Walla Walla and merge onto I-182 E/US-12 E/US-395 N

---- 1.9 mi

12. Take exit 14 for US-395 N/WA-397 S toward Spokane/Finley

---- 0.2 mi

13. Take exit 14B on the left to merge onto US-395 N/WA-397 N/N Oregon St toward Spokane
  Continue to follow US-395 N

---- 72.5 mi

14. Keep left at the fork and merge onto I-90 E
  Passing through Idaho
  Entering Montana

---- 607 mi

15. Keep left to continue on I-94 E
  Passing through North Dakota
  Entering Minnesota

---- 606 mi

16. Take exit 6 to merge onto MN-336 N/70th St S

---- 2.3 mi

17. Merge onto US-10 E/Center Ave E via the ramp to Glyndon/Detroit Lakes
  Continue to follow US-10 E

---- 38.3 mi

18. Turn left onto US-59 N  
---- 0.2 mi

19. Take the 1st right onto MN-34 E

---- 65.4 mi

20. Turn right onto 73rd St NW

---- 1.2 mi

21. Turn left onto Ah Gwah Ching Rd NW

---- 0.2 mi

22. Turn right onto MN-200 E/MN-371 S

---- 1.9 mi

23. Slight left to stay on MN-200 E/MN-371 S
  Continue to follow MN-200 E

---- 63.0 mi

24. Turn left onto MN-200 E/MN-65 Trunk N

---- 0.4 mi

25. Take the 1st right onto MN-200 E

---- 9.3 mi

26. Turn right onto US-2 E

---- 35.4 mi

27. Turn right to stay on US-2 E

---- 13.5 mi

28. Take the I-35 N/US-2 E ramp

---- 0.4 mi

29. Merge onto I-35 N

---- 2.2 mi

30. Take exit 253A to merge onto US-2 E/Richard I. Bong Memorial Bridge toward Wisconsin
  Entering Wisconsin

---- 2.6 mi

31. Turn left onto US-2 E/Belknap St
  Continue to follow US-2 E

---- 2.4 mi

32. Turn right onto US-2 E/E 2nd St
  Continue to follow US-2 E

---- 62.2 mi

33. Keep right to continue on Front St/Lake Shore Dr W
  Continue to follow Lake Shore Dr W

---- 3.5 mi

34. Keep right to continue on US-2 E/Lake Shore Dr E
  Continue to follow US-2 E
  Entering Michigan

---- 47.1 mi

35. Turn left onto M-28 E/Sunday Lake St
  Continue to follow M-28 E

---- 78.3 mi

36. Turn right onto M-28 E/U.S. 41 S

---- 54.9 mi

37. At the traffic circle, take the 1st exit onto M-28 E/U.S. 41 S/S Front St
  Continue to follow M-28 E/U.S. 41 S

---- 4.3 mi

38. Turn left onto M-28 E

---- 37.9 mi

39. Turn right onto M-28 E/Cedar St
  Continue to follow M-28 E

---- 35.2 mi

40. Turn right onto M-77 S

---- 17.3 mi

41. Turn left onto US-2 E

---- 65.0 mi

42. Merge onto I-75 S via the ramp to Mackinac Bridge
  Partial toll road

---- 94.4 mi

43. Keep right to continue on US-127 S

---- 55.0 mi

44. Keep right to stay on US-127 S

---- 83.1 mi

45. Merge onto I-496 E/US-127 S

---- 3.0 mi

46. Take the exit on the left onto I-96 E toward Detroit

---- 22.2 mi

47. Take the exit toward Fowlerville Rd

---- 0.2 mi

48. Turn right onto Fowlerville Rd

---- 0.2 mi

49. Continue onto S Grand Ave

---- 0.9 mi

50. Turn right onto E Grand River Ave

---- 2.0 mi

51. Turn left onto Owosso Rd

---- 1.7 mi

52. Turn right onto W Allen Rd
  Destination will be on the right

---- 1.9 mi

4101 W Allen Rd
Howell, MI 48855

R&D Screw Products (UHaul)
810 Fowler St
Howell, MI 48843
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brandon quote of the day: [22 Jun 2012|08:13pm]
[ mood | at ease ]

"what are river rocks made of?"

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i never ever read what i write. except sometimes. months later or years. [22 Jun 2012|07:27pm]
on my ikea couch with my grey feather comforter and a book , i feel perched on a time machine. surrounded on all sides by antiquity, wearing clothing spanning 100 years, time is what, idk, it's an organizational system we've got. i can't explain this right. big surprise.

i love how no one has bothered me today at all because everyone thinks i am far away in california. oh, that every day were like this! to go back months, before anyone knew where i lived!

lastnight bambi had a fit at me because he misses me. i miss him too, sort of. i recognize that what i miss, if anything ever, is someone to be with. he was not a very good fit for that role. and after being screamed at and yelling back for several hours, i hope he has come to the same conclusion. except i'm really fucking awesome, so i mean, who knows. i don't have time to care. i've got couches i need to lounge on, and books i have to read.

neck shoulder and back are absolutely killing me. have had the thrumming a few times today. don't think it's my heart, don't care if it is. mostly in the right arm. whatever it is, it doesn't hurt. it's more of a .. just a thrumming, and a heat. an extremely unnerving sensation which sometimes does hurt, but in my spine, not in my chest. and that is why i'm not backpacking through the desert right now. it is not worth dying over, and especially not worth wrecking my back further. do downward dog, and there is a big shift in my spine behind my heart. scary. strange. MRIs may be worth doing. so that maybe i can get some sort of doctors note, which will be useful in some way, in the future.

oh a thing i was thinking, right. about sex. or just intimate contact in general. and how it zens me. zen is my buzzword lately . because i'm an inarticulate fuck. but i always am using it in a consistent matter. and not terribly abusing it, mostly. anyway! the beef of it is, as far as i can tell, that when i went through the whole refeeding ordeal and the hospital and "how to deal with gut problems and physical pain" it was impressed on me that i should just completely ignore it, and put my faith into the science of the human body working, and medicines, and crap like that. AND THEN LATER i was also fed the opposite opinion, really, which is you know, listen to your body, and stop ripping your fuckin shoulders out of socket, and yadda yadda. but i still mostly just tank. which i think is a hilarious term, because tanking means failing, or being drunk, or in the context which i always mean which is a party of adventurers most specifically in WoW. Tank. go first, endure lots of damage, rely on support classes (which dont actually exist). tendency to kamikaze. over anything ever. because i don't value my life. ANYWAY OFF TRACK

when i am treated like i exist, i start to believe that maybe i do. and that i should take care. touch me and i pay attention to my body. the wind molesting me used to irritate me, but something happened, and i don't mind it anymore. hi, wind. hi, rain. Let's Touch.

that's about it, really.

thinking the thinky thing that thinks of the thinking things.

these problem might be reduced if i had a cat. but if i had a cat i know i'd end up snapping it's neck or just molesting it to the point where it left. because i'm a lich and feed on the living. i'm also a psychopath and do not inherently possess empathetic capabilities. so it's pretty hilarious whenever anyone has compared me to deanna troi... i mean srsly is there anyone i am less like?

i wish i knew what bird it is, making that call. its a pretty nice call.
saw a dead robin fledgeling today. DIDNT BRING IT HOME! GOLD STAR FOR THE DAY

back to zenning the fuck out, because no one is around agitating my molecules and giving me ulcers. extreme sensitivity is useful, in some ways. like, you know, ghost hunting, and stuff. and i get drunk really easily. yeah idk ok back to feigning literacy
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SCIENCE. [21 Jun 2012|07:58pm]
am 100% certain there is correlation between physical bodily discomfort and mental discomfort. doesn't matter which is cause and which is effect. they exist synergistically and both are exacerbated by consumption of food.
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[21 Jun 2012|07:19pm]
things never work out right, when i do what i think i am supposed to want to do, rather than what i want to do.

this is why i have more than one bowl, one plate, one fork. this is why i hvae got chairs, and tables. this is why sometimes my clothes match instead of function. but usually i just dress like a freakazoid, so that's good.

my plan of tricking people into thinking i am functional really doesn't work very well, when i can't figure out how to use chairs, and just stack them up in a corner.

i understand, but so many things are just so useless.

i was convinced of all sorts of ideas about food, by pseudo-scientists. ideas like you have to eat breakfast, and you have to cook meat. i been turned into a zoo bear. feels bad, man.

i'm also insane and my left arm won't work. so, that's nice. thanks, body. i appreciate it. and i'd like to think that i did something wrong. ate something wrong, lifted something wrong, even slept wrong, to make it go this way, but i know i haven't. cannot solve for X. there is no reasonable answer, and no way to look for the answer.

i wish things would make any amount of sense. i look and look and look for causes and effects but all i can figure is that things go wrong because i am there. whatever i am. some sort of stupid joke i guess.
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I am on vacation from my problems ! [21 Jun 2012|04:41pm]
[ mood | stressed and also relieved ]

Ok so I'm supposed to be off on a school vacation, but I didn't go. Because instead, I think, I'm taking everything to the goodwill truck. I have too much shit. I live in a piece of shit house. I am surrounded by piece of shit Friends who aren't helpful FOR FUCKING ANYTHING. I wish the house would just burn down, but it isn't going to, so I have to cleanse it myself. Unconscientiously. Fuck you,. that's totally a word.

I don't know why I think I don't deserve nice things. I guess I don't really want anything I could get attached to, because it's just things, or even people. Whatever it is, someone will wreck it or it will get stolen or disappear, because that's life. This doesn't make sense.


Cannot wait to look back at this journal entry and laugh my ass off.

Whatever, I got a hand job. And that's just ridiculous.

Oh boy! Gonna get rid of all the furniture except this couch. Because, fuck yeaaaaahhh this couch. and people that come over can just sit on the fuckin floor, like regular goddamned humans. OH WAIT JK NO ONE IS COMING OVER EVER K THX

i want to be homeless. it's so impossible to maintain or even want to maintain a home when no one helps you or lives there.

millions of things i'm gonna do, and i don't actually want to do any of them at all. i just want to go on a long walk, and eat things when i'm hungry, and sleep when i'm tired. forever.

every day it becomes more and more obvious to me that absolutely no one gives a shit about my life and what i do with myself, other than me. like, no one cares! i am not special! i do not matter! SO RELIEVING


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[02 Jun 2012|12:27am]
I need to start journaling again. Too many things happen every day and they get all mixed up in my head.

Today I got up at like 10am and I went to get my tea and scone and see Adam, but he wasn't there. So I sat on the patio furniture outside his apartment, reading the wilamette week and looking at snails and talking to Christopher Heagy on facebook chat. I'd sent him a friend request, he wanted to know who I was and what I liked about history so we talked about that some. There was a snail on the wall directly in the center of the windowsill. Fuck yeah, snails.

Adam got home, from the gym, and we talked about crap and I pattycake-raped him and that was fun. He took off on his bike to his parents house. I then took the 37 up and bought some sewing machine oil finally, and then took it farther up to Bambi's house, where he was sort of hostile or at best stand-offish but showed me his plants and buried a tire to plant the raspberries in.

Carrie showed up and invited me along to go to Ridgefield Wildlife Refuge, so of course I said yes. Bambi ignored me the entire time, so I just tried to kind of leave them alone. I do not think he likes me much at all.

After that we went and delivered a raspberry sprout Bambi'd dug up, to Jason Potwora, who gave us each a beer he'd brewed. I drank mine immediately because I was hungry and also thirsty. It was pretty good. We toured around his property and I discussed miner's lettuce with him. He has got a girlfriend named Kimber. Weird name. Nice person.

Carrie and I got to singing in the car , singing Good King Wenscelas together because we both know all the words, and basically it was amazing. And so she's said we need to hang out in the future. Drink beer, play music. I agreed. I worry Bambi may have felt alienated. But also don't care, because he alienates me constantly. She started singing the drip drip drop song from Bambi. And we also said BIRD! BIRD. alot. Because Bambi is a doofus. But he's adorable. Awww

Were dropped off back at Bams house and Daniel was there and had cooked amazing rice krispie treats which I ate alot of, and Bam and I split a corndog and then we all three watched Gattica. And Daniel let me borrow a coat for the ride home, because it's late and cold and raining. He is a nice person.

Adam I guess had had Stellas and steak at around 8pm. I should have come home, then, right after Ridgefield excursion. But it's so nice to hang around and talk with Daniel. He is so friendly all the time.

I am an awful person and I wish I didn't know anyone because I'm so bad at managing my time and my social efforts.

That's pretty much all I have to say.

I think I made a couple of new friends today. Carrie said she'd missed me. That makes me feel happy. Singing together in the car was one of the best things that's happened lately. It's like someone actually wanted to do something with me. That is a good feeling. It is the best feeling.
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old school biker meth [16 May 2012|08:03am]
i have to stop being sad. what the fuck is wrong with me, that i am so sad? fuck you, monkey genetics.

but honestly though; it is unusual to want to vomit everywhere and decapitate everyone?

you know , it's probably good i haven't been able to articulate what i'm trying to say, for the past seven months. because there aren't really words for it. and if there were, they'd be the most vile words anyone had ever spoken, and still no one would know what i'm saying, because language in wholly ineffective when what you mean is "the sensational experience we are having just now, as i fuck you and kill you and pit roast you in my yard"

i need to lose some weight.
it's a bit hard. my chemistry is all mucked up and a bunch of morons think i am a dumb slut because i don't get laid. how's that for logic for ya. geniuses EVERYWHERE!!!!!!1omg

fapped like 8 times night before last and i think that helped somehow. i found myself of somewhat reasonable mind and thinking quicker than usual, at 5am. i mean, because i didn't sleep. because how can you sleep when you aren't tired, and have to lay around masturbating for hours. shit sucks. science sucks. needs more drugs.
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don't let's be like this [14 May 2012|01:12am]
[ mood | OH THE USUAL ]

Today I listend to U2 and went in the car with my dad and his girlfriend, to cannon beach.

I am increasingly decrepit and depressed. And I do not think that anyone loves me back.

trip on thursday. gotta get this ridiculous sore throat and malaise under control by then. also gotta get some shoes maybe. i mean i am not kidding when i say i have no shoes. i already asked the teacher and i am not allowed to go barefoot into the desert, birdwatching. damn and blast.

red warrior needs hug badly. and dick. some serious dicking could be cool. or uncool. at very least, should make someone else feel happy, right? and if someone ever gets joy at my expense, i get angry. and anger is just a different form of joy. the fire is the life and the death.

goodnight livejournal.

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[19 Dec 2011|03:23pm]
Fixin' to lose weight.
Good plan. Good job, Me.

Damn, I am hell of depressed.
And so very, very hungry and exhausted.

Wish I'd stop bleedin already, god damnit do I really have to lose a liter of blood every month, that's insane
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[04 Dec 2011|12:21am]
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[27 Nov 2011|08:32pm]
testing one two hello

i'm not faring terribly. that's all, really.
not concerned about the lack of breathing and excess of bloody sputum. aint no thaaaang

need to get out of house. tomorrow, for sure. just so fucking exhausted.
need to interact with living beings tomorrow. yes. so no one gets mauled.
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[27 Nov 2011|11:40am]
My palms are shiny mother of pearl alabastery pearly pearl color. and so very shiny.
that is strange. why is that.

my shoulders all align from this mysterious upper respiratory affliction.

it's a beautiful day in november. november is almost up. time slips away from me, on this damned machine here. time goes too quickly.
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[26 Nov 2011|08:39pm]
well FML i have got two active LJs. How did that ever come up

it will be a confusing mess, for the gretta of the future, and also probably of the present.
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[25 Nov 2011|11:19pm]

went and saw the princess bride and it depressed the fuck out of me because i got a brain problem because i married some fucking awesome dude and then he kind of halfway divorced me and most of my heart is missing and may it remain so for ever because i aint never gonna love anyone ever again. adore, respect, enjoy, adventure with, yeah but love is... love is what? love is nothing. here is my favorite comics, about my marriage

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creepin around [22 Nov 2011|11:06pm]
[ mood | weird. hibernaty. ]

Had a dream lastnight I was in the basement, not doing much, just poking around. Wanted to chop wood, wanted to tend fire, but couldn't, for some reason.

Suspect I was ghostin' around. Saw RtW. He acknowledged my presence.

That's terribly creepy and I wish I wouldn't do that. Either I am crazy or creepy. Either way, oops, sorry guys.

Played WoW for two hours waitin'g for the raid to be over, to have a chat, ask how the kids are doing, and if there's much lightning, and he just signs off. Oh well.

I'll just... go see for myself, I guess. With my creepy ghost body. Spookin' around the house and all.

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Hello drkness my old frend [19 Nov 2011|10:46pm]
I'm going to write something really boring here, now. It's going to be about my day.

Today I didn't get enough sleep because I got up early to go to christmas bazaars with Arlene. And it was pretty awkward at the church and arlene wanted to buy the windows out of the building and the quartz outside and the furniture but none of that was for sale. And I said hi to dan's mom even though I wa slike "HERE WE GO SUPER AWKWARD TIME" and So It Was.

We got there early , you know, and i almost burst into fucking tears because there was somewhat wide somewhat open spaces and dead reeds and leaves blowing around and everything was really damp and I could see a fair hunk of the sky and I wanted to get out of the jeep and just run and run til I fall down all soggy and miserable and go die out there. But i didnt. I stayed in the car and tried to be chatty. At like, 945am on a saturday on the first effective day of my menstrual cycle, with no coffee and no sleep in me. Right. Well. And then that.

And we went then to the clark county fairgrounds. That was pretty horrifying but there were some gays there and they had some neat shit for sale and arlene networked and some guy, some jeweler from grey's ferry or something like that, he wanted to sell me platinum and diamonds and I was not really into it. And there were children doing "jazz" dancing in matching stretch velvet on a stage with lipstick and glitter and it was very sparkle motion and i hated it. THe whole place was really creepy like televangelism.

Then we went to the sale at the school up the road, and there was nothing there but lots of fucking estrogen and cheap flickering fluorescent tube lighting.

Later my dad and I went up there and it was exaclty like in the nightmare I had a few days ago except the bad stuff didn't really happen. It was still creepy as shit though.

Got dropped off at home then, with the mini fridge he carried it into my kitchen. And I put on zazzy music and try to clean. Did some laundry. Derick wanted to have tea and I said yeah sure come over for tea so we had tea and I got fleabitten for whatever reason and he didn't have any good stories an he was really high and mixed up what color was what and there was a misunderstanding and I sent him home and to bed without any supper, as it were. Also he got taller somehow. Either that or I am shrinking. No matter.

I am going to go see pendleton after thanksgiving. I will get to field test my snow boots! I AM EXCITED. I LOVE SNOW. i hope i actually get to go.

I want some diet coke . I will totally have some tomorrow. I haven't had diet coke in months. It's probably a piece missing from the puzzle that is me. Which is presently missing many pieces.

I have got alot of feelngs and not alot of articulation. Today I was mostly angry and tired.This blow pop has got a weird texture on it like it's a nutsack or something. I learned the word for the nutsack muscle yesterday incidentally but I forget it. No matter.

Jesus, nothing I say today comes out right at all!

I am glad my dad is so upbeat lately. I hope the trend continues!
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AROOO ROO ROOOOOOO [21 Jul 2011|07:49am]

I HAD A SEXY DREAM!! I got the warm fuzzies and everything!

It was awful

Fuck sleepin and fuck dreamin. Time to put on boots and buy a cup of rageohol and go do work,

Seriously wtf why sexy dream, I feel all awkward now, like, sorry I had a really detailed and possibly realistic sexy dream about you, I didn't mean to. Well, yes I did, but you can't just tell people these things.


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adam fox you are an alcoholic and a half [10 Aug 2009|05:36pm]
for fuck's sake, man :/


Nothing Lasts... But Nothing Is Lost
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my thoughts exactly. almost. [07 Aug 2009|12:42pm]
[ mood | neutral depressed ]

"Trees are kind of like dinosaurs: ancient as all hell, just way slow to adapt, and tough. You can tell how primitive a thing is by how many children it makes, like how spiders and sea turtles make like a thousand babies just to get one or six to survive. Apricot trees are the same way. They make a thousand apricots a year and if every single one took root where it fell, they would kill the mother tree and each other. However, apricot trees exist because they "know" a raccoon and a badger will see *most* of the fruit on the ground and go all NOM NOM NOM...no, this is bad reasoning. Does an apricot seed need the fruit surrounding it in order to germinate, or does it count on an animal eating the fruit and dispersing the seed somewhere else, like in a pile of fresh nutritious poop? I need to go to college. This is like real basic horticulture or botany or something. I wish I had any kind of education at all.

Okay I just got back from lookin' at the course listing catalog for the Community College and I remembered why I never went back to school. If I want to learn about why apricot trees do what they do, I have to pay sixty bucks, sit in a classroom for three months behind some guy who really, really likes the San Francisco Giants, and hope all to hell that the teacher covers that topic. Man that is inefficient.

I think the Community College should just be like a hotline where every professor is an operator and your question gets routed to the right one when you call. Each call could be a dollar. Looks like it's time for some school reforms, based on my new idea of cost-effective learning. Look out, world's education system. Everything changes today, with this blog about how I am too boneheaded to just look up apricot trees on Wikipedia."


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